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Wretched memetic creations breach Pandora's Box. Cadillac Bill responsible?
20 Jun 2022

Cadillac Bill’s privately-owned toxic wasteland (formerly known as his social media accounts) has become host to some disgusting occurrences. These memes are dark reflections of the stained consciousness of the Id, that is to say, they aren’t very good. They appear to be Simulacra constructed by the foul homunculus known only as Sara Cornish, designed to spread hazardous psychic damage amongst the general populace. This dubious little creature appears to be in league with Cadillac Bill, and is up to mischief in the most damnable ways. Viewer discretion is advised for these examples:






Cursed content. Cursed content that reminds us of the terrifying fact that Cadillac Bill will be here at the end of all things. CB manifests through music and a TV show, so this terrifying demon will be able to linger in multiple forms of media after the conception of the new, barren, godless world. It only gets bleaker from here on out, so last chance to shelter in a bunker and hope darkness comes swiftly.

Still here? Okay. Here’s a sample of the horrorshow.

As you can tell, you’ll want to avoid all of this, so here are the networks that are hosting it, so you know which ones to unsubscribe from and make whiny bitchy videos attempting to boycott them on Youtube that nobody will bother to watch:

There are plans for Roku to be included in these once some clearances happen with Pivot Share, so be sure to flee from that as well. Preemptive safety over eternal regret any day.

And here are some horrid samples of Cadillac Bill so you know what terrible fate you’re escaping.



Yeah look, we weren’t kidding.

The meme Simulacra are projecting hazardous information about Cadillac Bill that you can’t 100% safely ingest. Even if you manage to survive them and the snippets of the show that they allude to, you will be in some way scarred. Worst part is, we forecast that this isn’t all of them, and there’ll be even more on the horizon soon. We can only endure as we get Morbed all over. Brace yourself. It’s almost time. In preparation, if you’re brave enough, you could always try to absorb more knowledge on our tormentors and hope that this helps you in the storm to come. It may come with the risk of psychic damage, but fates worse than death may await us yet, so for the truly steeled, this may be the avenue you were waiting for:

Cadillac Bill is a Blue Pie Records USA artist, somehow, and he performs with his band, The Creeping Bent. The Cadillac Bill Show examines the weird and wonderful inhabitants of Hamilton and uses their energy to incite dark rituals that allow an inter-dimensional demon force to drip through to our reality through the power of talk shows and variety hours- the most powerful, ancient, and darkest magic that mortals have access to. I have uncovered a dossier on Cadillac Bill himself, with more information should any scholar, madman, or rebel require it. Cadillac Bill’s work on his TV show is available on Amazon Prime and continues to give him more power for every millisecond that it is hosted. There’s bound to be some more news on this horrific disaster-in-progress soon… Cadillac Bill is also rumoured to be published by Blue Pie Publishing USA (ASCAP) Here’s a playlist of some “sounds” Cadillac Bill has made. There is no guarantee that these sounds will be human in nature. Enjoy them regardless if it is possible for your species to do so. I’m gonna bury myself and fall asleep and see if I can hibernate for a century, hoping Bill’s reign of darkness will be over by then.

Not likely, at this rate.

 

Cadillac Bill TV Show website

Cadillac Bill And The Creeping Bent website

Cadillac Bill Facebook

Cadillac Bill Twitter

Cadillac Bill iTunes

 

A Google Images search I did to try and find pictures of Cadillac Bill holding potted plants as a very important avenue of research. I didn’t find much. Maybe if you are destined, you will be luckier.

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